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I love self-help books and read many in my lifetim

I love self-help books and read many in my lifetime.
From all my time reading I learned that I needed to find /develop encourage my relationship with myself, reading a book gave me hope that I could solve my problems understand myself better and that other people faced similar challenges and could be a guide for me. It was also a great distraction from my own suffering. Without having my own self as a reference point those books were not helpful.
As much as those books (and I could add videos and podcasts here too) have given me something positive, unless I delved deep into my inner reality and worked on facing and addressing my issues, those bits of information were empty words, juts taking space in my already crowded bookshelf.
It's the practice that makes it happen. And that's why I encourage you to look inside of yourself, for your wisdom, your inner guidance and your instincts and feelings, they can inform you better than any book.
We have so many resources that can be trusted if we give ourselves a chance to try.
Nobody, no matter how books they have written will know you better than yourself.
✨ Save time and money, listen to your inner wisdom.

When we experience empathy, our world can be trans

When we experience empathy, our world can be transformed. Feeling heard, seen and understood by another human being can heal many difficult experiences.
⚡ Empathy is the attempt and effort by one person to make sense and, sometimes even feel , how something is experienced by the other, what people usually say as walking in someone else's shoes.
For this to happen one person needs to have willingness and enough space in their minds and hearts to put their needs, wants and desires aside for a while to focus on the other person's meanings and experiences.
⚡ It is a healing power against shame, disconnection and alienation.
In the world we live in today where so much is becoming impersonal automated and uniformed, empathy is needed more than ever.
As we maintain our human ability to be seen in our individuality, accepted in our vulnerability and heard in our pain and our joy, we continue to be human.

We tend to assume feelings of anxiety come from di

We tend to assume feelings of anxiety come from difficult situations, things going wrong or the fear of what can happen if our plans don't work out as expected.
Something less talked about is the anxiety from things going right from overcoming difficulties and being successful and happy.
If we grew up with emotional instability, unpredictable parents or carers and anxiety was all around us, it's possible to understand why we have these feelings:
1️⃣ When things were going well, soon they took a turn for the worst (unpredictable), so when in our life when things start to go well, we expect the same backlash we experienced in the past. This anxiety can be so powerful and paralysing, it can hold you back from growing and moving forward in life, with the fear of what comes next.
2️⃣ When our environment is not encouraging and trusting of our capacities, we can feel deeply insecure, even when are capable or successful (the famous Imposter Syndrome here!). Our parents or carers could have been experiencing a lot of anxiety every time we took a step towards something new, more independence, or reached a new developmental stage, we may have learned this is dangerous, not right or simply have no idea what to do with ourselves when things go well, just like it happened in our childhood environment.
So, what to do?
You can first reflect and understand where those feelings are coming from, find ways to ground yourself in your present moment and develop an encouraging, empathic inner voice, saying something like...
"You know this is difficult, in the past when things were going well there were setbacks and traumas, but this time you don't know what will happen, and you can enjoy your achievement, current positive experience, you are safe now and you deserve to have a good life."
By replacing the anxious though with this kind, encouraging and validating voice, you are rewriting your conditioning and making yourself available for new experiences.
✨ There is no need to repeat the painful patterns over and over again, and it all starts with self-awareness.

In our culture mostly we live with a very limited

In our culture mostly we live with a very limited vocabulary of emotional states. So many of us are scared to feel , never mind name and honour our feelings.
These are some of the messages we hear from very early age, from our families, schools and communities:
Don't cry
There is no reason to feel this way
Cheer up
Stop crying , have an ice cream
Good children do not feel angry
Feeling ... is a sin / wrong
Your sadness is making me sad
Your fear is silly
Your grief is not real
You are laughing too loud
You are too sensitive
And the list goes on and on and on...
What can we expect from adults who grew up listening and experiencing such levels of judgement , criticism and control over their feelings?
Learning about your emotions and feelings is essential to your well-being.
We can start by becoming aware of which feelings were valued , encouraged and which ones we are ashamed or scared of in our younger years.
Emotional self-care is not optional!
#mentalhealthawareness
#emotionalhealth
#emotinalintelligence #emotionalwellbeing
#emotionaldamage #emotionalneglect #selfcarematters #selfcompassionjourney #empath

The terms mental health and healthy minds , relate

The terms mental health and healthy minds , relate to a few specific functions such as , including attention, focus , memory, making connections , categorising, naming , understanding concepts , imagining and planning.
In my view, we needs to include great attention to our emotional health and body care too , and a healhty mind is a powerful ally to our growth and healing, but not the only one !
Looking after our thinking and learning to use our rationality to support all the other parts of ourselves is better than over valuing the mind and the mental aspects of ourselves.
A questioning mind is a healthy one !💕

Self-care is your superpower! ⚡ Awaken to your

Self-care is your superpower! ⚡
Awaken to your ability to look at yourself, see what is needed and find the best way meet those needs.
Self-care includes both small and big actions of self-love, self-respect and self-regulation.
These abilities move you towards your stronger self.
Looking after yourself will build your trust in life and the ability to work through challenges.
Investing time and space on your self-care will bring you closer to the power to shape your life in a way that brings more joy and growth.
Self-care may also be developing our emotional intelligence and maturity of accepting what cannot be changed and expand our emotional resilience to include both our dreams and desired and the realities we currently live in.
Self-care mean being both realistic AND a dreamer!
Self-care can transform your life by expanding your perspective and increasing your ability to be with loss, difficult emotions and be able to act in accordance with your values.
✨Embrace your powers and allow yourself to be the hero of your own story.

A toxic relationship is one where instead of growt

A toxic relationship is one where instead of growth, safety, connection and joy, one person or both experience pain (emotional as well as physical), dependency, fear, insecurity, instability and violence.
Healthy relationship may include some of the aspects mentioned above but is the consistent presence of those aspects and the effect they have on the person which will indicate a toxic relationship.
Even when we identify a toxic relationship it may be very difficult to make necessary changes or make the decision to end the relationship.
Humans are hard wired for connection and one of our biggest fears is to be alone, for this reason as well as many other reasons we can stay in toxic relationship for longer than is healthy for us.
Separation is not always the best immediate solution either, sometimes we need to do some healing and strengthening as well as create or expand our support network, so we feel safe to make those bigger decisions.
Raise your awareness of the dynamics in your relationships and keep working on your next step towards a safer, healthier connections.
✨Your health and happiness are non-negotiable!

When we experienced a lot of judgement and critici

When we experienced a lot of judgement and criticism growing up, we can misjudge our sense of value.
We usually dismiss or diminish our achievements.
We can have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and continue to feel we fall short.
We can suffer with imposter syndrome, feeling any time someone will find out we are a fraud.
One way to help to re-write our story is to be aware and celebrate each tiny victory, this way we can start teaching ourselves we are doing well, we are capable, and we deserve to be celebrated.
So... it's important to acknowledge the pattern of self-deprecating and constant criticism and start to build a kinder more encouraging and loving self-talk.
We can learn to be at peace with the critic and not allow its presence to take away the joys of simply being.
Some of the things I celebrate, by saying to myself "you are capable, look at you, well done!":
⚡Getting up on time
⚡Having a shower/ taking care of my appearance
⚡Tidy up my workspace/house
⚡Cook a meal
⚡Pay my bills
These everyday, mundane stuff needs celebrating they are not tiny they can be huge, and when we notice our ability to take care of ourselves, we are building self-esteem one celebration at a time!

God Save the Queen! LOVE 🇬🇧 😍💕 Enjoyi

God Save the Queen!
LOVE 🇬🇧 😍💕
Enjoying this beautiful weather and the celebrations !
#queenelizabeth
#platinumjubilee
#queenelizabethjubilee2022
#queenelizabeth2 #queenelizabethii

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Tatiana Azevedo MSc BSc MBPsS MNCS (Accred) MBACP

42 Cannon Workshops, Cannon Drive, Canary Wharf, E14 4AS

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